Heading West

I’ve been planning to make my way out to California for a long time now.  My urge to go there was even more solidified after visiting for the 2013 Butch Voices Conference.  I fell in love with the Bay Area, and I have been missing it ever since.

And so I plan to move there.  My goal is to make it out there some time between July and August of 2015, depending on how the job search goes.

I am very excited, but also incredibly nervous.  The prospect of moving halfway across the country to one of the most expensive areas in the United States– by myself– is nerve-wracking as hell.  I’m worried about getting a job.  I’m worried about securing housing.  And worst of all, I’m worried that even if I get those things figured out, I am just going to fall flat on my face.  I am nervous that I won’t fit in, that people won’t like me, etc etc.  I am just *nervous*.

But I am going to make it happen.  Because I have to.

The last few years have made it abundantly clear that I cannot stay here.  Growing up in the bible belt has been a largely miserable experience for me, and I am desperate to be immersed in a different, more  gay-and-trans-friendly culture.
That is not to say that I think homophobia does not exist in the Bay Area, of course.  And by no means do I expect moving there to be some kind of magical cure-all/happily-ever-after kind of experience.  But I do expect it to be a place where I can breathe, and finally start the hard work of healing in earnest.

The next eight to twelve months are going to be one hell of a ride, and I have no idea how things are going to turn out.  But I am keeping my head down and working and saving money and building my skill set.  And I am going to make it happen.


About butchonbutch

A 20-something year old butch who has recently come to terms with their attraction to other butches (and studs and tomboys and androgynous dykes). I'll be discussing my experiences in the world of butch on butch dating, love, and sex. If you want to know more about me, click the "About" tab at the top of the page.

Posted on November 14, 2014, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. My 2,000 mile move across the country and away from my past was the best thing I ever did. I had no job and no housing lined up when I left. I just did it. Scary and thrilling and perfect. Good luck!

    • Wow, you are brave!!! I admit it has taken me a bit longer than I’d like to get out there because I’m such a planner; I don’t know if I could just jump in like that! But it’s awesome that you did, and I’m really glad to hear that it worked out for you. 🙂

      Thanks for commenting!

  2. I wish you only the best, what your inner wisdom manifests to illuminate your path.

    May the wind be at your back, may the ground rise to meet your stride, may you always find shade. May your guides be light hearted when you need a lift, and may your sojourn bear fruit so your lessons may be learned once and once only. Peace

  3. Good luck with the move!! Trust me, I’m pretty sure you will find a niche in the Bay Area/California where you will be accepted, have awesome friends, and find a way to let your experiences and lessons learned from the past build you a better future. I did.


    • Thank you for the kind words, H. It is really helpful and encouraging to hear from someone who has made the move and had it work out well for them. I’m very glad to hear that the Bay Area has treated you so well. (:
      Thanks for your comment.

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