I’ve been planning to make my way out to California for a long time now. My urge to go there was even more solidified after visiting for the 2013 Butch Voices Conference. I fell in love with the Bay Area, and I have been missing it ever since.
And so I plan to move there. My goal is to make it out there some time between July and August of 2015, depending on how the job search goes.
I am very excited, but also incredibly nervous. The prospect of moving halfway across the country to one of the most expensive areas in the United States– by myself– is nerve-wracking as hell. I’m worried about getting a job. I’m worried about securing housing. And worst of all, I’m worried that even if I get those things figured out, I am just going to fall flat on my face. I am nervous that I won’t fit in, that people won’t like me, etc etc. I am just *nervous*.
But I am going to make it happen. Because I have to.
The last few years have made it abundantly clear that I cannot stay here. Growing up in the bible belt has been a largely miserable experience for me, and I am desperate to be immersed in a different, more gay-and-trans-friendly culture.
That is not to say that I think homophobia does not exist in the Bay Area, of course. And by no means do I expect moving there to be some kind of magical cure-all/happily-ever-after kind of experience. But I do expect it to be a place where I can breathe, and finally start the hard work of healing in earnest.
The next eight to twelve months are going to be one hell of a ride, and I have no idea how things are going to turn out. But I am keeping my head down and working and saving money and building my skill set. And I am going to make it happen.