An Introduction

I’m starting this blog because I need a safe space to explore my newly-realized attraction to butches, studs, tomboys, androgynous dykes, and similarly identified folks.  I realize that these identifiers are by no means synonymous, though they can of course overlap; they just all describe a kind of person I’m into.  My current plan is to fill this blog with my thoughts on the butch/butch dynamic and my experiences in the butch/butch dating world.

I guess I’ll start by breaking down how I identify and the kind of people I’m interested in.

My Gender Identity

I identify as butch.  As far as I’m concerned, butch is my gender.  That being said, calling me a female-identified butch wouldn’t exactly be inaccurate, either.  I don’t really identify with the word “woman” at all, for various reasons that I may go into at another time, but I’m pretty comfortable with the identifier “female”.  I have a bit of a genderqueer streak as well, though my relationship with the word “genderqueer” has been changing and I’m not sure how much longer I’ll use it to describe myself.  Basically, I use that word to reflect the gender dysphoria that I’ve struggled with in my lifetime.  To that end, I suppose I might as well mention that I’m a butch who has had top surgery.

My Sexual Identity

Sexually, I identify as a butch bottom and a butch submissive.  At the moment, I’m very fond of the butch boi identity, which I’m defining (for myself) as being a butch fag who’s into dominant butches.

My Sexual Orientation

I would say that, sexually, I’m open to being involved with a lot of different kinds of non-male-identified people.  In the (recent) past, I have almost exclusively been a (stone) butch top to a femme bottom.  While I still appreciate that dynamic and am certainly not opposed to being involved in it again, it’s not really what I’m looking for presently.  Right now I’m a bit preoccupied with finding a butch top/dom.  That being said, I still consider myself sexually interested in everything from high femmes to stone butches; it really just depends on the person.

My Romantic Orientation

After a lot of introspection, I’ve come to realize that what I’m looking for in a partner, gender-identity-wise, is pretty specific.  At the end of the day, I want to come home to a butch.  A butch who is dominant and/or aggressive, a butch who enjoys taking me out, a butch who wants to hold me. That’s just what sounds right to me, what feels right to me.


It’s a little distressing to know that butch-on-butch dynamics are so often looked down upon.  It’s hard to find others out there who appreciate the dynamic, even as friends. I guess it leaves me with only one choice: to carve out a space for myself.

So here I am.


About butchonbutch

A 20-something year old butch who has recently come to terms with their attraction to other butches (and studs and tomboys and androgynous dykes). I'll be discussing my experiences in the world of butch on butch dating, love, and sex. If you want to know more about me, click the "About" tab at the top of the page.

Posted on November 2, 2011, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. i have recently realized that this butch is definitely seeking “her butch” and have been creeping into the world of butch/butch dating…its harder that i imagined…
    i am excited to follow your journey through butch/butch dating as well….GOOD LUCK!

  2. I’m an older butch currently involved with another older, previously stone, butch. I have been attracted only to men and masculine women my whole life. Oh, yeah, I’m a bi butch. So very queer. Butch-butch pairings can be absolutely incredible. It’s like the best-kept secret in queerdom.

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