I’m starting this blog because I need a safe space to explore my newly-realized attraction to butches, studs, tomboys, androgynous dykes, and similarly identified folks. I realize that these identifiers are by no means synonymous, though they can of course overlap; they just all describe a kind of person I’m into. My current plan is to fill this blog with my thoughts on the butch/butch dynamic and my experiences in the butch/butch dating world.
I guess I’ll start by breaking down how I identify and the kind of people I’m interested in.
My Gender Identity
I identify as butch. As far as I’m concerned, butch is my gender. That being said, calling me a female-identified butch wouldn’t exactly be inaccurate, either. I don’t really identify with the word “woman” at all, for various reasons that I may go into at another time, but I’m pretty comfortable with the identifier “female”. I have a bit of a genderqueer streak as well, though my relationship with the word “genderqueer” has been changing and I’m not sure how much longer I’ll use it to describe myself. Basically, I use that word to reflect the gender dysphoria that I’ve struggled with in my lifetime. To that end, I suppose I might as well mention that I’m a butch who has had top surgery.
My Sexual Identity
Sexually, I identify as a butch bottom and a butch submissive. At the moment, I’m very fond of the butch boi identity, which I’m defining (for myself) as being a butch fag who’s into dominant butches.
My Sexual Orientation
I would say that, sexually, I’m open to being involved with a lot of different kinds of non-male-identified people. In the (recent) past, I have almost exclusively been a (stone) butch top to a femme bottom. While I still appreciate that dynamic and am certainly not opposed to being involved in it again, it’s not really what I’m looking for presently. Right now I’m a bit preoccupied with finding a butch top/dom. That being said, I still consider myself sexually interested in everything from high femmes to stone butches; it really just depends on the person.
My Romantic Orientation
After a lot of introspection, I’ve come to realize that what I’m looking for in a partner, gender-identity-wise, is pretty specific. At the end of the day, I want to come home to a butch. A butch who is dominant and/or aggressive, a butch who enjoys taking me out, a butch who wants to hold me. That’s just what sounds right to me, what feels right to me.
It’s a little distressing to know that butch-on-butch dynamics are so often looked down upon. It’s hard to find others out there who appreciate the dynamic, even as friends. I guess it leaves me with only one choice: to carve out a space for myself.
So here I am.